Chapter 2
The Year of the Comet — Sita I
To understand what happened next, one must understand what had transpired earlier that evening.
Before the assembled army, Raghav had rejected Sita as his wife. “Why come all the way then?” she had demanded. He had offered no answer. In his mind, the war and the killing of Ravan’s line had been a duty imposed upon him by law and lineage.
Though Sita argued that she had been taken by force, and though Vibhi and Agastya spoke in her defence, Raghav could find no path through the dilemma imposed by Aryavartan law. Cornered by the choice before her, Sita ordered that a pyre be prepared.
His public rejection struck her harder than a year of captivity. Worse still was his declaration that she was free to choose another husband, even the newly crowned Lord of Lanka, Vibhi. In that moment, the last hope she had carried through her long imprisonment flickered and died.
At the time of her confinement in Ashokvana, Ravan had given her one year after which he would marry her by force (and she had prepared to give up her life in case Raghav did not rescue her by then.)
Half an hour later, nothing had gone as he expected.
Sita had been firm, as firm as the fire torches in their scaffolding. Everything had gone wrong.
Raghav stood rooted in the same spot where he had spoken to Lux. His army stood in a circle around him and the pyre.
His entire body trembled as he saw Sita walking up to the three woodpiles of firewood.
Sita was so stubborn.
I was to give up my life anyway if you had not come by the end of the year, she had said to him. At least now I can die having seen you once again. Heartbroken, though, as you reject me. I have nowhere else to go.
The words had pierced his heart.
He was pulled out of his reverie when Sita’s friend, Sarama, screamed, begging Raghav for mercy, to stop this self-sacrifice. A few women held Sarama back.
Raghav, still trembling, looked away, forcing himself to show no emotion. It was as if all the gruesome killing in the past few weeks of the war in Lanka had steeled him. Lux, unable to take in this violation, stood looking away, visibly agitated.
The three wood piles were lit on Sita’s orders.
How would he face Sita’s father again? What would he say to her sisters?
This is a grave mistake. I have to stop it.
The fire consumed the first pile and slowly made its way towards Sita, the wood hissing and crackling as it moved. A loud SNAP! Yellow-orange flames erupted now and then. Soon it was a roaring blaze.
Raghav looked back at his wife, as if forced by a supernatural force.
Next, the second pile of wood, doused in oils, began moving more rapidly towards her. Pieces of wood snapped loudly as they breathed their last.
The third pile, lower than the rest, lit up like a bright yellow-red carpet as if inviting a goddess to walk on it.
The three fires merged into one large pyre as Sita walked towards it. Determined.
Raghav closed his eyes.
This is a grave mistake…
He opened his eyes again. He was horrified. By now the heat must be scorching and suffocating.
How could I have allowed this? Am I insane?
She choked as she got closer. Staggering, she fell inches from the pyre. Bright orange sparks fell like a shower of flowers on her head. A finger of fire touched her, though miraculously her clothes did not ignite. Something kept her safe.
Raghav finally regained his strength and ran screaming, ‘Sita!!!’
Sarama reached first and pulled the unconscious body away to safety. When Raghav reached her he saw there were only mild burns on Sita’s body.
He fell to his knees, agonized, and took her in his arms.
‘Sita!!!’
He pleaded. He said he was sorry. He turned to Lux.
‘She must be in shock. You remember when she was a child…’
More tears fell down Lux’s cheeks.
Vibhi stepped forward, visibly agitated. ‘Please accept Sita back. She is innocent. I shall be the evidence,’ he pleaded.
Guru Agastya said: ‘It’s a miracle that she’s unhurt. You must accept Sita now.’
Hot tears fell down Raghav’s face as he nodded. Vibhi called the healer.
At least she would live.
The healer began dousing her right away.
He looked up at the dark night sky lit by a full moon. Before this macabre ceremony began, his brother had pointed it out; an unusual visitor, a light with a tail.
Are you a visitor from another world here to witness my cruelty? Are you going to come crashing down on me?
The monster of doubt in Raghav had been replaced by a desperate hope of keeping Sita alive. If Sita had no union with a Raksha, he had not broken Arya law. But why did he himself doubt her?
Was it because he knew his subjects too well. Without evidence either way, they would question her long stay. The subjects would talk of abomination. The Council would talk of sacrilege. But Sita had endured too much for now. He would deal with them later. In Ayodhya as their king.
If she had to be exiled, she could go to Mithila with her parents.
It had taken the healer another half an hour to relieve Sita from her unconscious state.
Slowly, she stirred awake. Her arm burned with pain.
She smiled weakly at Raghav and Lux next to him.
‘I want to take you back to Ayodhya,’ said Raghav.
‘You are safe now. Raghav will never leave you again,’ said Lux.
Sita smiled weakly at them.
‘When can I show you Ashokvana?’
‘As soon as you’re better. I know you refused to stay at the palace. Staying in an open temple was a sacrifice you made for me and Raghuvamsa.’
‘I did it for you,’ she whispered.
He offered her jaggery and water for her to drink.
You fought your ground. You fought for me and Raghuvamsa. I know.
The senior healer moved closer. Raghav spoke:
‘I will leave Sita with you now. Please give her the best treatment you can.’
‘I will. But first we will move her to the infirmary.’
They helped Sita get to her feet and carried her to the palanquin.
Sarama, holding Sita’s meagre belongings, followed them.
Sarama and Sita sat alone in the palanquin. Sita could finally drink water on her own.
She was still in a state of disbelief. Raghav’s demeanor had shocked her.
Is he really taking me with him? Does he really mean it?
She moved her free arm to rearrange her sari, which had moved out of place.
How could he ever have said something like that when I was most vulnerable, in front of all those people?
I have never felt so worthless and cheap.
Sarama told her that Raghav had restored her lost jewelry. Sita smiled.
If he suspected a Raksha child in my womb, he must end my life.
Sarama opened the bundle and laid out the jewelry in front of Sita.
Why save me from the fire and my crime?
She glanced at the necklace her parents had given her on her wedding day; she felt choked.
Pita atra bhava.
Her father.
Pita would have found a better solution to this dilemma.
The curled-up nights on cold Lankan stone beside the cat were nothing compared to this.
When she demanded that the fire be lit for the fire-sacrifice test, she really wanted to die and this pain to end.
The Gods had saved her from the fire. But could they save her from herself?
She felt empty inside, used and thrown. There was no meaning left in her life. That one act had changed their relationship forever.
Would she ever again feel secure in her Raghav?
All her married life, she had lived for her husband and his family. Now she felt confused about Raghav’s role in her life.
She needed a new reason to live.
From the Chronicle of Sarama:
I admired Sita long before the war ended. Some will say that this colors my account. Perhaps it does.